i_amthecosmos

Hi. I don't spend much time here, and that's purely fear of any change on my part. I'd rather stay in an abusive relationship with Live Journal it seems.

I'm thinking of crossing over my fansforfans lj comm over here. Is this a good idea? I think maybe one or two people from my reading list are on it.

I don't have a lot to say right now. I need to start writing more.

Originally posted by shutyourface at Livejournal, come on.

The dog went back to the vet today to get her gum growth removed. We were right to put this above getting surgery for her leg now. They checked out her lungs because she's been having trouble breathing when she's asleep.

She has a growth on her lungs. They can't really do anything about it.

Fuck. Just...fuck. My dog might have cancer, but I'm not sure. At any rate, I think we're just going to take care of her at home and leg her leg heal as much as possible while...yeah.

Thanks to everyone who gave us some money through the PayPal button. It's really helped us with all these vet bills even though we haven't spent it on what we said we would. It's still all going toward her medical care. Thank you.

Edit: I got her back from the vet and the growth is worse than I had hoped. It's big and pressing on her heart and diaphram. Her lungs have a lot of fluid. We can't do anything but give her antibiotics and keep her comfortable.

I just...I don't know what to do. I'm devastated.

The PayPal account is working now and the money came through. I hope everyone can still cover it, since it's so close to the end of payday for most people.

THANK YOU ALL. Thank you. It was over $450.00. That will help a great deal. I'm so happy right now. I'm also scared to death of PayPal, so I hope it's not lying to me.

Thank you so much.

This is shaping up to be an "everything looks better in the morning" kind of day. (Something I didn't even know about until a couple of months ago, since I never got up in the morning.) I'm feeling calmer and more productive after several days of not doing much at all.

I lost my temper yesterday at Thanksigiving. Evan tells me not to worry about it, but he forgives me a lot easier than I forgive myself. I feel pretty bad about losing it over Yatzee of all things. Sometimes I just want to be left alone, and my visiting cousin is super-enthusiastic about everything. She also can't take "not right now" as an answer. It's my fault, but it made her feel bad.

But today's better.

Many people have heard versions of this rant in aim or other such places, but I've never fully written it down. Here it goes, the Normal Guy Theory.

This theory states that many bands will have a member who reads as closer to the broad societal definition of "normal" than the rest of the group. Sometimes the Normal Guy is simply normal compared to the rest of the other freaks, in other cases he's so ordinary you can't believe he's in the band. This obviously applies more to bands with a strong musical and/or visual identity (punk, metal, emo). The Normal Guy is more common than you think. Here's ways to find him.

(1) In many cases, the Normal Guy is a replacement for a departing original member. Bob Bryar from My Chemical Romance was their Normal Guy, and he was a sound mixer who had gone on the road with them before-as a sound guy. When he joined the band, he continued to be uncomfortable with the spotlight. Now that he and the band have parted ways, Normal Guy status is now represented by Ray Toro, who previously was a bit too much of a nerdy guitar enthusiast to really have the spot. Other replacements that were the Normal Guy: Jon from Panic! At the Disco, Gilby Clarke in Guns N' Roses.

(2) If the normal guy is an original member, he is often the best friend of the lead singer or main songwriter, the band's lead guy/girl. Izzy Stradlin was Axl's best friend and was the Normal Guy (in a broad sense), until sobriety and wanting to make his own music led to his leaving. Sami Yaffa from Hanoi Rocks was the closest friend Mike Monroe had in the first version of the band, and he had the fewest dramatics of any of the group.

(3) Normal Guys are often drummers, bassists, or rhythm guitarists. Jackie Fox was the Runaway's Normal Girl: bassist and now entertainment lawyer.

(4) Some bands cannot tolerate a Normal Guy and will fly apart if they get one. Motley Crue didn't have anyone within spitting distance of normal until they replaced Vince Neil with John Corabi. That lasted exactly one album. The Sex Pistols threw Glen Matlock out as soon as they possibly could, Johnny Rotten being unable to stand him. The Ramones kept CJ in the band for years, but only because they had the slowest slide to destruction of any major band, ever. A band with a faster metabolism might've spit him out sooner.

Now that we've established who they are, what makes the Normal Guy normal? Usually it's some combination of practicality, common sense, groundedness, and actually being in it for the music. (Normal Guys can be the best or second-best musicians in their band). A goofy sense of innocence can play into this as well. Gilby Clarke on Behind the Music, talking about the GNR debacle in Montreal that led to the stadium being set on fire: "That was my first riot!" If the Normal Guy isn't one of the main songwriters, his contributions might be ignored by the others. This can eventually lead to a split.

The damnest bands can be hiding a Normal Guy: Jeff Magnum was the bass player of the Dead Boys, and in "Please Kill Me", he repeats "All I wanted to do was play the bass really loud". His fellow Dead Boys almost drove him crazy. Megadeth's Dave Ellefson got addicted to herion and still managed to hang on to some of his sweet Midwest-boy charm.

The Normal Guy brings needed balance to an act: Ziggy Stardust needed Mick Ronson to give them a solid rock guitar foundation. The Who needed John Entwhistle to stand there and look mildly embarrassed when the rest of them went nuts. Their stablity can help hold the center of the group together.

Ow! My back got a not-nice pull, but it's better now. I really have to go in to work because I'm working for someone else. A co-worker wanted to take her daughter trick or treating. I'm gonna be sitting down all day today. I really thought I'd have to call in, but the ice pack did the trick.


...This is a bad day. I'm glad I'm not celebrating Halloween again this year. I just kinda don't care. (Last year's had a minor medical proceedure too, so I just can't be bothered.)

Happy Halloween, at any rate.

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Back pain or nightmares. Sometimes both.

I've been trying to keep schedules and stuff like that and I keep letting them slide, but I think I'm on to something now. Here you go, my technique to keep from sitting here all day and not showering or eating until 5pm:

The Points System

It goes like this-everything I do that I find productive in some way (getting up on time, cleaning, going to work), is noted and is given a point from 1-3. One is something a person without health constraints could do without thinking about it-getting dressed, meds, breakfast, coffee and letting the dog in all count as 1 (that's the morning routine). The shower is a one, because I'll put it off. Laundry and cooking are 1's mostly because I enjoy cooking and don't mind laundry.

2's tend to be things that involve leaving the house, or take more energy. Also things that scare me. So going to the pharmacy is a 2. If I'm cooking and my back starts to hurt from standing over the stove, that's a 2.

3's: these are things I want to avoid or have a lot of steps. A lot of moderate housework is a 3, because my body's not in good shape and it hurts. Yoga, which I love, is a 3 because it involves driving in rush hour traffic to the uni, and then the hour long class itself. It's *always* worth it though. Anything involving in getting my CMCS is a 3.

Then every night, I count up the points-the goal is 20 or over. A whole week of 20's gets me a prize-a new lipstick, a used book, bath salts.

This would seem silly if you didn't know how much i can get trapped inside my head. Inertia is kind of where I live most of the time. Also, the idea is to build up: do more and eventually 3's become 2's and 2's become 1's. And then I'll be moving forward on a lot of fronts.

Haven't gotten anyone on the phone today regarding my dad (I talked to him yesterday, so that's okay. Mainly I just wanted to know if the weather was okay there if I drive over). But my sister, who works at the hospital did call me.

She wanted to know if I had a Beatles 45 for a scavenger hunt she's taking part in.


...

*cracks up*

Why, yes I do! And if you are nice and call me back, I'll even let you borrow it!

My family, I'm telling you.