And it just gets worse.

[i_amthecosmos]

The dog went back to the vet today to get her gum growth removed. We were right to put this above getting surgery for her leg now. They checked out her lungs because she's been having trouble breathing when she's asleep.

She has a growth on her lungs. They can't really do anything about it.

Fuck. Just...fuck. My dog might have cancer, but I'm not sure. At any rate, I think we're just going to take care of her at home and leg her leg heal as much as possible while...yeah.

Thanks to everyone who gave us some money through the PayPal button. It's really helped us with all these vet bills even though we haven't spent it on what we said we would. It's still all going toward her medical care. Thank you.

Edit: I got her back from the vet and the growth is worse than I had hoped. It's big and pressing on her heart and diaphram. Her lungs have a lot of fluid. We can't do anything but give her antibiotics and keep her comfortable.

I just...I don't know what to do. I'm devastated.

Comments

[firelily.livejournal.com]

I'm so sorry you have to go through this. I know you did everything you could for your dog and I'm sure that she knows how much you care and that she feels loved. All you can do is keep giving her the best life possible and spend time with her. And if you need to vent, we're here for you.

[i-amthecosmos.livejournal.com]

Thank you.

I'm binge-eating. I just feel like crap about this.

She's such a good dog. She can tell when I'm depressed and will lick my face and try to get me out of bed.

I just...it's hard not being able to fix her or knowing how long she'll be around.

[firelily.livejournal.com]

Yeah, I know how you feel. When our dog's time was up, it was horrible knowing that she wouldn't be around forever. But one thing that did help me was thinking about the positive things, and remembering all of the good times. I know it sounds cheesy, but it actually comforted me to write down all of the good things that I could remember. Every time I'd start to get sad about the situation, I would try to focus on a good memory. And it was still sad, and really sucky. I still get sad and it's been 4 years now. But when I do get sad, I go back and read all the happy memories that I wrote about her, and it helps me remember her better.

And for now, like I said even though you can't make her all better, you can hopefully feel like you did what you could for her - giving her a great life and a good home and lots of love, and all the vet care you could reasonably do. As someone training to fix animals for a living, I will say that it's those people who try their hardest to take care of their pets who make the best pet owners. You guys don't have a lot of money, and yet you're sacrificing to take care of your dog, and I think that's something you can feel good about. I would never expect someone to pay thousands of dollars that they can't afford to pay for a treatment that might not even do much to change the situation. We all work within the budget and the means that we can afford, and that's really the best we can do.

When it is her time, you'll be there for her, and she'll be better off for it.

[turps33.livejournal.com]

Oh no. I'm so sorry. I'm thinking of you and her.

[i-amthecosmos.livejournal.com]

It is most likely cancer. She's got a fever and her lungs have a lot of fluid in them. We've been given antibiotics and told to keep her happy and comfortable.

She's still a sweet happy dog, so there's no need to put her down yet. But I'm just crushed.

[argylepiratewd]

*hugs so, so, SO much* I'm so sorry, love. I wish there was more I could do. :(

[i-amthecosmos.livejournal.com]

I just got her back from the vet and it's worse than I imagined. The growth is huge. It's pressing on her heart and diaphram. Her lungs are full of fluid and she had trouble breathing while sedated. It's really bad.

And yet, she acts exactly the same, except her breathing is labored and she coughs a lot. All we can do is give her antibiotics for the infection and inflammitories. And try to keep her still and quiet because of her leg. She's still a happy dog.

I'm devastated. I'm going into work anyway, because I've already had a food binge and I'll just eat all day if I stay here. My poor dog.

[ladyhadhafang.livejournal.com]

No words, just...*hugs*

[i-amthecosmos.livejournal.com]

Thank you.

[ladyhadhafang.livejournal.com]

You're welcome.

[wynkat1313.livejournal.com]

oh hun... I'm so sorry *hugs*

[i-amthecosmos.livejournal.com]

Thanks. She's getting her medicine right now.

[milagro75.livejournal.com]

I'm so sorry. This is such a helpless feeling. In a way I am thankful Millie went quickly and on her own so I didn't have to make these types of decisions, and struggle with whether the treatment was doing more harm than good. Take care of you.

[i-amthecosmos.livejournal.com]

It just feels so bad to hear her cough and hack and know it's because her lungs are filled with growths and fluid. She had been getting more colds as she got older, so we didn't know.

[bookofdays.livejournal.com]

oh wow, I'm so sorry. *hugs*

[i-amthecosmos.livejournal.com]

*hugs* Thank you.

[graymouse.livejournal.com]

I'm so, so very sorry. I wish I had some comfort to offer. I agree, if you need to vent, we're here.

*hugs*

[i-amthecosmos.livejournal.com]

Thanks. She just got her meds and some peanut butter. So she's pretty satisfied with it.

[mnkyjnkieang.livejournal.com]

I'm so sorry :( *hugs you tight*

[i-amthecosmos.livejournal.com]

*hugs*

She doesn't know she's sick, of course. She's just a little less bouncy.

[leela-cat.livejournal.com]

*hugs* I'm so sorry. That's an incredibly hard thing for you to have to deal with.

[i-amthecosmos.livejournal.com]

We've had her since she was a puppy. She's eleven years old this month.

[phantomkennel.livejournal.com]

(hugs) I guess it's good she's still in good spirits. I hope the antibiotics perk her up a bit more. But, yeah, devastating :(

[i-amthecosmos.livejournal.com]

She was clingy tonight, because she'd spent most of the day at the vet's. But she was happy to get the peanut butter mixed with medicine we gave her.

[fasciculations.livejournal.com]

I'm so sorry. Just love her and let people who love you support you.

[i-amthecosmos.livejournal.com]

I kind of want to withdraw, of course. We're both really depressed that she's sick. Meanwhile, she just wants to spend time with us.

[nobodygirl.livejournal.com]

Fuck. I'm so sorry this is happening. Just keep her comfortable and happy and give her the best life possible for as long as you have her. Poor doggy. I'm sending good vibes to all of you.

[i-amthecosmos.livejournal.com]

I'm probably going to ask the vet for some pain medication if I think she needs it. It's hard to tell with a dog.

Right now I've fixed her a fried egg. She loves those.

[katzb101.livejournal.com]

Oh my. I'm so sorry! *hugs*

[i-amthecosmos.livejournal.com]

*hugs* She's got a good doctor and antibiotics for her infection. I don't know if it will help her lungs-they had a lot of growths too.

[coneyislandbaby]

I'm so sorry *hugs* Thinking of you, always.

[i-amthecosmos.livejournal.com]

Thanks. Poor baby.

[adamgrrrl.livejournal.com]

as a pet owner/mommy, you always, ALWAYS have to face the fact that eventually your sweet lil bundle is going to break your heart, no matter if it's a medical issue or plain old age. i've had to gently put down 7 of my feline babies in the last 5 or 6 yrs, not to mention pets from when i worked in a preschool several yrs ago, too. i know EXACTLY how horrible it feels, the helpless devastation...
if you need to talk, dm me, i'll give you my cell, we can text.
luv.

[i-amthecosmos.livejournal.com]

We've had her eleven years. We don't have children, so she's our baby in a way.

Of course, she might not feel as good but she's acting as much like herself as possible-she doesn't know she has cancer after all. She was bouncing around, bad leg and all, when I was fixing her a fried egg just now.

[i-amthecosmos.livejournal.com]

She doesn't like her kibble and wants human food always. She'll eat bread crusts, pizza crusts, whatever. But she doesn't really like fruits or vegetables, being a dog and all.

Yeah, she's resting a lot, but she was anyway because of her age. She was clingy yesterday because she'd spent too much time at the scary vet's office.

I'm not working today, so I can fuss over her.

[adamgrrrl.livejournal.com]

a fried egg?? jeez. is she one a those animals who'll eat whatever's put in front of her? had a cat like that, i SWEAR she was a goat in a former life!! xD
as far as her general well-being, yeah, ya gotta envy them that. not understanding the fact of your mortality must be nice, it's quite the curse for us uprights...

[drummergurl4.livejournal.com]

As long as she is happy and not in pain, enjoy every second with your pup. I'm sorry you've gotten such sad news, but just enjoy every sec you have with her.

[i-amthecosmos.livejournal.com]

We were told to refill her pain medication if needed, and she does seem down. She's doing okay today.

[drummergurl4.livejournal.com]

she might be feeding off your mood though, that might be why she's down.

[chrismm.livejournal.com]

Oh, no. I'm so sorry.

[i-amthecosmos.livejournal.com]

She's doing okay, she just sleeps more as the meds keep her a little sedated. I'm doing better, but it's hard. I just don't know how much longer she's gonna be here.

[http://users.livejournal.com/_mydecember_/]

I am so sorry. ::Big hugs::. I went through a similar thing with my cat Bandit last summer, so I kind of understand how you feel. Just spend as much time with her as you can.

[i-amthecosmos.livejournal.com]

She's been getting a lot of attention and pets and extra food (medications mix well with peanut butter) so she's content. It's only scary when she starts coughing.